Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
