Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
