That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
