You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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