Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
