what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize