member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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