You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
