Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
