I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
