So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
