3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
