And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize