girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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