does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
