it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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