To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
