Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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