so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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