Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
