my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
