he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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