I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
