in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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