SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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