ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
