oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
