But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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