next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
