i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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