I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
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the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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