But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
