Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My bed smells like the plague
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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