I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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