ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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