Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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