he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
