you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
