My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
