The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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