who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize