you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I could fuck to npr.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
