If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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