i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
