how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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