Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
