The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's never too late to be topless.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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