my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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