Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
