So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
