Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
