I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize