R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
